Do you ever find yourself too stressed and overcommited to focus on your own goals?

You’re not alone.

Like you, I often have a challenging time keeping up with my to do list and I found myself feeling like I just wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

That’s when I realized exactly what my problem was:

I’ve got Unrealistic Expectations.

And I bet you’ve got them too!

I see this all the time: capable, ambitious people– whose lives are already so full with friends, family, and work – failing to make progress towards their goal and assuming that their lack of progress means something about their ability to perform.

I can’t make this work.

This is impossible.

Maybe I don’t have what it takes.

Here’s the thing:

Achieving goals requires more than a vision.

It requires that we make strategic decisions around how we spend our time and our energy. 

It requires a plan.

And it’s hard to make a plan when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, burned out and frustrated with yourself.

Here’s some good news:

I’ve got a six step process that I’m sharing today so that you can turn your own vision into a totally actionable plan.

I use this strategy every single time I’m feeling stressed out or like I’ve taken on way too much. 

If you need help creating a clear path, take thirty minutes and give these steps a try!

Write down absolutely everything that is on your mind

Every work task, personal task, errand, or project.

Things you’ve been meaning to do. Every appointment, family birthday party, and brunch plan.

Put it all down in one place.

Don’t worry about the order of priority of things, just work on getting everything down on paper.

Break each project down into tasks

Now, take a good look at that list.

Chances are you’ve got some projects on that list. 

So repeat after me:

Projects are not tasks.

Have you oversimplified anything on your list in an effort to capture it? 

That is fine for the “brain dump” part of the exercise, but now we want to make sure that we capture the actual steps that need to be taken.

For example, let’s say you wrote down, “Get a haircut.”

You might break that into two tasks.

For example, “Call the salon to schedule the appointment” and “get your hair cut.”

Yes, this will make your to-do list longer BUT it will make it easier to cross items off of your list.

(And I think we can agree that’s basically the whole point of making a list, yes?)

Prioritize the list

Are there any obvious priorities or deadlines that you need to pay attention to?

Alternatively, are there any items on the list that would be nice to accomplish but are much less urgent? Spend a few minutes separating out tasks that are urgent from the rest of the list.

Here’s my simple, visual system for this:

I draw a circle around priority items, a rectangle around non-urgent but still important items and I underline non-urgent items. 

You don’t need to have a fancy, shape-coded system.

You simply need a way to separate out the super important from the less important.

Pick that low-hanging fruit

I look at the list of urgent and important items.

Is there anything in there that I can do quickly? Like in less than five or ten minutes?

Anything that you can do in the next ten minutes…do it.

Here are some examples:

• schedule appointments (hair, dentist, doctor, etc)

• respond to emails that only require a brief response

• filing paperwork (or cleaning up your desktop)

• delegating a task

• RSVP to a meeting or event

• dropping off mail

I have space in my calendar each week to for “catch up and follow up” tasks. Highly recommend carving out some space so that this kind of stuff doesn’t pile up.

But if it does - and it happens to the best of us - remember that just starting is better than continuing to kick the can down the road.

Schedule the rest

Whether you’re using a paper planner or a digital calendar, take the time to look at the week, month, and even several weeks out.

This is another opportunity to pay attention to how much you really have going on. I always find commitments and deadlines that I had forgotten about. 

If that’s the case for you, too, you may need to cancel some things. Is there one commitment you can back out of fairly easily?

Once you’ve created some space, it’s time to start blocking out time to complete urgent tasks.

I am a firm believer in scheduling. I am really into my Google Calendar right now.

I also use Asana for me and my team.

Even if you’re perfectly capable of remembering everything, all of the time, I don’t think you should waste your precious brain storage on memorizing your schedule. There are an array of tools out there. Use them and let them do the work for you.

For people who work better with pen and paper: I hear you. Make sure you keep that calendar or planner visible throughout your day.

(Am I the only person who sometimes finds mine on a Friday afternoon under a pile of papers? Just me?? Okay…)

Pretend it’s not your to-do list

And ask yourself: Is this reasonable?

This final step is not about planning but more about managing your own expectations.

I literally just completed this exercise myself and you know what I realized?

I realized that the to-do list in my head, the one that was floating around and causing me stress, was not actually something that could be accomplished in a week.

In fact, now that I’ve completed this exercise, I can see that it’s more reasonable to spread it out over the next few months.

Not weeks, months.

When my list was in my head, it seemed like a lot of work, but written down and fleshed out, I can see now that it’s so much more than that.

Consider if you were looking at a friend’s to-do list?

Would you encourage them to take more time? Adjust their expectations? Probably.

If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you might also be setting unrealistic expectations, but taking thirty minutes to walk through this quick exercise can help get you organized, prioritized, and help you check in with yourself about how realistic your goals and timeline might be.

Give this a try and let me know what you think in the comments below!

Delegate and ask for help.

When I find myself overwhelmed by my to do list, I look to my team or adding contractors to my roster.

In exchange for some money, I can get my time back.

While it’s hard to part with my hard earned money, it’s almost always worth it!

In most cases, get the work done better and faster than I could on my own.

Consider what might be possible for you in this realm:

• Swapping for childcare with another family

• Sending your laundry out (I did this while I was in grad school and working full time and it was such a huge help!)

• Hiring someone to re-write your resume

• Ordering groceries for curbside pick up

Remember: time is an ingredient in your success - not an enemy!

Get started as soon you can, spread your to do list out using your tools, ask for help when you need it, and remember to talk to yourself throughout the process like you would to a friend!